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Satirical Editorial

SATIRICAL EDITORIAL

Our provincial political pillocks have profoundly pilfered, pillaged, pinched, and purloined the pesos of the Ontario public’s pi┼łata.  Like pigs at a banquet, they have plucked and plumbed the plump plates of the treasury as though they were the plunderbunds of a plutocracy.  Platitudinous; patronizing; patriarchs of plunder, our pecunious Queen’s Park publicans are in the pink of their pathological predatory pecking, pelting the plebes with a paucity of pay. The profligate purveyors of the pampered public office have pounced on the poor and the penniless with unprecedented pomposity.  Their profane pinguescence on the backs of the passive proletariat has reached the pinnacle of perfidiousness.  The pitiable pissants of the Parliament have pitted the treasury with pathetic placatory platitudes.  Like a plague, they have plagiarized the pliant plaintives of the province with pleuritic precision, further perpetuating the plight of the penniless.  Predictably, and with passive prohibition, the pendulum of their greed and the pusillanimousness of their impoverishment, has punished the indigent with polemic projectiles of pustules. Per chance, although probably passé, the politico porkers pouncing on the provinces pork barrel of monetary public pork, that is to say, masticating on the profits of the populaces productive perspiration, might posthumously peruse the profoundly parsimonious and polygamous profundity of their perfect penury.  I remain M.P.P. Napoleon the Pig, proponent of the most perfidious placation of the plebeian masses and their perpetuated poverty.

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